When I first got diagnosed with ADHD just over two years ago, my therapist told to me about something she and her colleagues dubbed “The Three-Year Reckoning.” They gave it this name after noticing it happen time and time again in their practice; things finally starting to fall into place for their clients after their ADHD was diagnosed and treatment followed. Slowly but surely, they start to become the version of themselves they have always wanted to be and let me just say, wow, am I in the thick of it now!
It all started for me at the age of 39, when I was diagnosed after my ex-husband and daughters were, as it often happens with women. In fact, most women don’t get diagnosed with ADHD until about the age of 38 and there I was, another statistic for the research papers. My official diagnoses are combined ADHD, social anxiety related to performance and a math learning disability called Dyscalculia. And while it was a relief to finally be diagnosed, that grief that so many ADHDers talk about was also very real and it shook me to my core.
In my advocacy I call it “The Sixth Sense Effect,” that moment you realize it was ADHD all along. Stupid, stupid ADHD screwing with me, my family and everything around me! I had countless sleepless nights rewinding and overanalyzing the movie reel of my life and ruminating about what could’ve and should’ve been had I been diagnosed earlier.
Could school have been easier for me, and would I be smarter and or successful today as a result? Could I have pursued a job I would have loved in journalism or entertainment if I didn’t struggle so much with RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) and performance anxiety? Could I have saved my marriage if I got my control and anger issues in check sooner? Could I have been a better mom who didn’t rage so much and not have traumatized my kids the way I did? Let’s face it ladies, we could “shoulda, woulda, coulda” ourselves to death but it’s not something I recommend because we can’t change what was or what could have been. We are here now; things cannot be erased and all we can do is move forward with grace.
So, in true ADHD fashion, I moved forward in fast forward and hyper focused hard. The difference was that this time, the focus was on ME. What a notion, huh moms? Giving ourselves the time and attention we need to get better? And what I learned quickly is the more I looked in the mirror, dug deep and devoted myself to my own treatment with medication, therapies and an intense devotion to improving and maintaining my physical health, the faster it all got better for my daughters too.
If you’re reading this blog, I’m assuming you know a thing or two about neurodiversity and how it’s genetic and tends to cluster in families, friend groups and work groups. There was even a study done on it recently called “Birds of a Feather” that proved just how prevalent it is. And it makes sense, doesn’t it? People with different brains being drawn to one another for just that reason? Yet when I talk to the women in the support group I run and as I continue to advocate, I find more and more that it’s often the atypical control freak, ultra organized, chronically overwhelmed and emotionally unstable neurodivergent moms who are the ones that are diagnosed last. We just learned to mask it so well that we can even fool ourselves. This is why I can’t stress enough how important it is for ALL family members to be screened once one is diagnosed.
My first day on medication was wild. I had that typical first experience of it kicking in and my world being rocked. Not everyone has that experience but, in my case, it’s exactly how it went. Within one hour of the meds kicking in, I felt the tension leave my body and it was quiet. Like, really quiet. I felt calm, focused, less agitated, less anxious, clear minded and moved through my day with ease. I remember crying myself to sleep that night at the realization that after trying so many things for so long; therapy, antidepressants, getting healthy and blowing up my life, this was one of the things I clearly needed all along. Yet not one of the 4 therapists I went to saw it in me, even the one that noticed it in my ex after meeting him only twice. I was angry and sad, and it was in that moment I knew I would never shut up about it so let me hop up on my soap box real quick and allow me to remind you all of a few things:
We HAVE ADHD. It’s IT and not US that trips us up from time to time. It doesn’t define us; we didn’t ask for it and we don’t deserve it. These are our symptoms, not our personality and we’re not bad people, moms, dads, or friends. It is possible and up to us to take control of these symptoms, though, and this I know for sure. Not all the way and we’ll never be perfect but with ADHD being one of the most treatable disorders in the world, as full-blown adults it’s our responsibility to treat the symptoms as best we can with the resources we have. Our diagnosis is an explanation but not an excuse so if you learn anything from reading this blog, I hope it’s this: pursuing a diagnosis and treatment is worth it, things can and will get better, and you’ll never regret it.
I must say I’m still pretty bitter about it being missed in me my entire life. We tend to ask ourselves things like how the hell did the doctors and therapists not see it? Was it not obvious? Do they not know enough about it? How did I, the world’s biggest know-it-all, not know!? I guess the short answer is that it’s just not obvious for most girls and women who tend to be more internally hyperactive, inattentive and daydreamy but I can assure you I am NOT. From the day I shot out of the womb, I was loud, hyperactive, charismatic, funny, quirky and unique. I’m a first generation Canadian, raised in a very strict home in the 80’s so ADD, as it would’ve been called back then, wasn’t something anyone around me would’ve heard of. And being the bright, cunning, resourceful girl I was, I flew under the radar for a very long time.
And about that Three-Year Reckoning I wrote about earlier? Here’s a not-so-comprehensive list of all the things I’ve done since diagnosed just over two years ago:
I’m pretty blown away by this list myself and almost in tears as I’m getting it all down. I take all the time in the world to list my to-dos and should-dos but have never actually sat down to list my “have-dones” until now. Please don’t tell my therapist, she’ll kill me! She’s told me a million times to write them down and shove them in my face, all the things I’ve accomplished and am proud of. But I’m just not the journaling kind. Maybe this is my cue, though, to get at it and finally put some pen to paper and write a book or something. I don’t know, but I’m sure I’ll get to it some day.
Lastly, I want to mention, for anyone who resents the use of the term “superpower” when it comes to ADHD, let’s agree to disagree. I’m no dumb dumb and well aware my untreated ADHD effed up my life more than it helped it and ADHD itself is not a superpower. But when we can get the symptoms in check, all the amazing things that usually come with ADHD can help us soar, no doubt. Those we can use as superpowers and promote them as such, especially to instill some confidence in our neurodivergent youth who need it so badly right now.
I know I wouldn’t be the person I am or be where I am today without my ADHD and I can say with 100% certainty that if given the option, I would never give it back. I am the coolest, most fun mom, the most loyal and ridiculously funny friend, an intensely loving and giving human being, devoted to making a difference and doing good in the world. I’m hella intuitive, creative and capable of balancing much more than the average human because I’m not your average human. Sure, I probably screw up and act out more often than others do. But now that I’ve learned to quickly repair and forgive myself and others, I’m learning to love me and my unique brain more and more each day. We’re a pretty cool pair, my brain and me. Stuck with one another for all of eternity. And I’m okay with that. Very okay with that.
When I was a child, I was often referred to as a daydreamer. I would often zone out or stare off into space. No one was concerned however, because I was always a strong student and did well with minimal effort. As I got older and things required studying, I would find it nearly impossible, I wasn’t able to focus long enough to get through one page, especially if the subject was of little interest to me. I was always an avid reader and could get through books with little issue if they had enough to hold my attention, so no one ever suspected ADHD given I was a very calm person.
Fast forward to my thirties, I was finding it increasingly difficult to focus on certain tasks, I would constantly fidget, forget laundry in the washer, cleaning was an insurmountable mountain that I couldn’t even convince myself to climb.
Being a nurse, I was in a particularly lucky circumstance where I was working with my family physician. She was already treating me for anxiety but had noticed my fidgeting at work. We scheduled an appointment and had a long discussion about my childhood, my daydreaming and focus and she looked and me and said “Kim, you have ADHD.” Whoa, ADHD, thinking back now this made a lot of sense and thinking back, can’t believe we missed it.
With my new diagnosis and a new prescription for Vyvanse I went on my merry way, hopeful that this would help me bring some order back into my everyday existence. That feeling was short lived as we discovered that the Vyvanse, regardless of the treatment I was already on for my anxiety, made it 10 times worse. I was having nightmares and could not sleep. That was the end of that hope. A few weeks after stopping Vyvanse we discovered I was pregnant and to my surprise, as my pregnancy progressed, I started to feel better. Things were a little easier and I was feeling good! This went on until my son was about 6 months old, then it all came flooding back with a vengeance!
Mom brain is REAL but throw ADHD in the mix and, what day is it again? What did I need in here? Where is my phone? Because of that, I made another appointment with my doctor. I never expected ADHD to get harder as I got older, but here I was, starting a new treatment with Intuniv and some tools to help me manage the day-to-day. As moms we tend to always put ourselves last, but I am now learning that I need to put some care into myself if I want to be able to care for my family. I am still working on ways to keep things going and be on top of everything going on, I am not perfect and not everything will work for me, but I am doing my best and that is enough for now.
Children can lose up to 40% of the learning gains they have made over the school year if stimulating learning opportunities halt over the summer months. There’s extensive neuroscience research evidence that taking an extended break from learning during the summer can impact students’ retention and engagement for the next school year according to research published in the American Educational Research Journal.
“But we need a break!” I hear you. Many students and parents are counting the days until summer vacation for a well-deserved break. It’s a great time to rest, rejuvenate, and hit the reset button. It’s also the perfect opportunity to apply the tools and strategies learned during the academic year to carry out non-academic tasks, significantly contributing to building a child’s essential executive functioning skills toolkit.
What are executive skills, and why are they important?
We rely on our executive functions in our daily lives, from planning our day to remembering to pack our lunch or mapping out our next road trip. They are developmental in nature and are housed in the brain’s ‘management department’ and are essential contributors to tasks being carried out and completed. Adults often take these learned skills for granted, assuming children will “naturally learn” how to organize, stay focused, persist, prepare, and plan.
However, for a child with ADHD, lagging executive skills are inevitable and can be the root cause of stress, anxiety, shame and frustration at home and school. A youngster with an ADHD diagnosis can delay their executive function skill acquisition by up to 30%.
Youngsters with weak executive skills can be disorganized and forgetful, need help getting started on assignments and easily get distracted from non-preferred tasks. They can also experience challenges regulating their emotions due to frustration and overwhelm. However, the good news is that these skills can be taught, learned, and practiced in both formal and informal situations. With patience, practice, persistence and, most importantly, positivity, adults can foster the development of these essential skills in their children.
What can parents and caregivers do to help develop these skills?
Learning is a habit. Training one’s brain and keeping it active and strengthened is just like keeping one’s physical body in shape. You need to keep at it consistently to see noticeable results! Anyone who has taken two months off from the gym knows what I am talking about. The brain is no different.
But don’t worry, you don’t need to convince your young person to bury themselves in textbooks and rigorous online academic classes to stop them from falling behind over the summer break. Instead, consider providing your youngster with real-life opportunities to build and reinforce their essential executive functioning skills over school breaks.
Here are a few simple ideas that our students and parents find especially helpful and fun!
The more consistent we are with helping our students build executive function skills year-round, the more success the student will experience. Consistency with new habits is a crucial element to transformations in behaviour. When we are consistent in building these skills, we see momentum leading to healthy life-long habits. By actively avoiding the summer brain drain with naturally engaging opportunities, you will be surprised how prepared and confident your child will feel for future learning and life.
About Samantha, Founder, Kaizen Education Services
Over 25 years ago, Samantha Woods, Founder of Kaizen Education Services, recognized that her students’ success in life goes well beyond intelligence and academic skills. After taking a neuroscience research hiatus, Samantha discovered that lagging executive functioning skills were at the root of many of her ADHD students’ challenges. Since then, she has developed a successful executive skills coaching program for students and adults who live with an ADHD diagnosis and recognize that building these invaluable skills can lead to a lifetime of success and peace. Samantha now spends her time presenting and sharing research based practical tools & strategies with educators, parents and anyone invested in making good change (Kai-zen) happen with a young person in their life. Her latest passion is building Kaizen’s “Brain Hub Academy,” an online digital ADHD coaching platform to strategically teach these essential skills to students of all ages across the world.
Kaizen Education Services is a social enterprise focusing on executive brain functioning development from the classroom to the boardroom. Kaizen is currently transforming their in-person executive skills coaching program to a digital platform so more adults can feel empowered to support the young people in their lives.
“What would you do differently?” This is a question I am so frequently asked that I have decided to respond to it in this blog about how my children have helped me become a better person. My acupuncturist most recently asked me this question this week when discussing their own child’s teenage adventures. Over the years I have shared in the stories people related to their young ones; and have learned in the end, it is all about relationships. I am a mother and a teacher with ADHD. I also have children who have ADHD. I am an ordinary person who finds joy in everyday things. I believe we can do small things with greatness or great things can be done in small amounts. That helps me when I feel overwhelmed, which can happen with my ADHD. For example, when writing this blog or preparing a meal. As a teacher, I hope to help promote, inspire, or support greatness in small amounts every day. As parents, it would be difficult to inspire greatness in everything we did but rather, our children are remarkably great and so are we.
Even an octopus does not multitask. Do one thing at a time. Mindfully being present in my activities has helped ease my anxiety about having to retain information from conversations while simultaneously completing non-related activities. The art of conversation is hard to find at present with the busyness of modern society and technological devices. Spending time and purposefully being present with my children during their conversations is one of my favorite pastimes. Simply listening, without judgment or correction, has allowed them to develop their thoughts and feelings. Learning to listen, without trying to guide or interject, has taken time. As a parent with ADHD and children with ADHD, there are always so many thoughts that want or need to be shared. However, learning when it is appropriate is another matter. I have learned that sometimes it is necessary to listen first and wait to respond later. Feelings can be big and need space. Our children can have the last word and most of the time, they need our presence more than our voice.
Perfection is not required. However, as a parent I desperately tried to achieve this with every lunch and snack I packed for the children. Each was a non-repeating, 45-minute process, of allergy-conscious, selective-eating, healthy options, budget-limited selections. Every item was carefully chosen for its maximum health potential, likelihood to be eaten, and economic affordability. I wanted the children to find healthy food options in their lunches that supported their neurodevelopment. Ensuring the children had an abundance of food for school and the perfect lunches was a way I tried to protect them from possible negative adult perceptions. In this way, the children’s behavior couldn’t be blamed on poor food choices, lack of nutrition, or neglect. As the children aged, they began to take part in sponsored lunch programs, buying cafeteria food, trading lunches, and even asking to meet up with me for lunch. As I became more comfortable and adapted to advocating for my children, I focused less on what was in their lunches and more on what was in their classroom. It is a process.
Worrying has never stopped anything from happening, including worrying. I worried then and I worry now. For both my children and me, our journey with ADHD occurs with Anxiety. The substance of my anxiety has changed regarding my children as they have aged and have taken on more of their responsibilities. Gone are the days of having to remember tests, assignments, birthday parties, and extra pairs of shoes. The floors have walked bare and the chairs rocked for hours, waiting for phone calls or for children to come home. Children leave when emotions get too big when words fail, friends call, days are long, or adventures await. My worry turned every scenario into the worst possible situation for my children. Every time they were late or chose a friend I did not approve of, I let their diagnosis of ADHD overshadow their creativity, independence, and interpretational skills. When things go astray, ADHD can create a big “WHAT IF” monster in my head. Children do choose their friends and do stay out late. They will get bruises and get hurt. Worry has never stopped my children from any of things. Being there for them has helped them heal when it has.
Even though I feel like motherhood has given me “the pink slip” now, my children still tell me I am needed. Even as an older mom, I still learn new things about motherhood as a mom with ADHD and with older kids with ADHD. Nothing is ever complete, like laundry or the dishes. They stay piled forever. If people want to see a perfect house, they can watch television or watch a magazine. My family is not perfect, and I am not raising a house. Your home can be clean without causing you anxiety or worry. Since several members of our home have ADHD how we try to accomplish things in the home is completely different. This used to cause communication issues, and emotional tension, and consequently, not a lot was accomplished. Through counseling and learning better communication skills and spending more time listening, I learned that sometimes getting things done gets in the way of relationships. My children helped to teach me a different type of organization system where things can be visualized. They also taught me how to delegate tasks and break down jobs into smaller ones. As a single mother, I was used to doing everything myself, and being able to hyperfocus, I was able to complete tasks without issue. However, the children taught me work will always be there but sunny days or freshly fallen snow are to be enjoyed. Take the time to make memories, they will keep you company when the children are grown.
Wouldn’t it be ideal if when your child receives a diagnosis of a neurological complexity, like ADHD, you were handed a map that detailed the road ahead of you? All you would have to do as an exhausted caregiver that had made it this far was choose which door to knock on first. Instead, when caregivers are told their child has a diagnosis they often feel alone, lost, and desperate for direction on what steps to take next. Being given a diagnosis is not even half the solution to what the problem has been for their child and the world of resources, advocacy, and intervention often seems out of reach.
At least that was my experience as a mom. When my child was given a diagnosis I knew I needed to take steps, but I didn’t know where or how to start. It was only through seeking the advice of other parents who had walked the path before me that I was able to piece a plan together and baby-step my way through finding the support we so desperately needed.
For many of us raising children with exceptionalities, like ADHD, there are years that feel like our families are being tossed around in an unforgiving storm. The journey to a diagnosis is often long, with appalling wait times for assessments and paediatrician appointments. Our children have struggled for years before they receive a diagnosis and we have struggled right alongside them. We’ve been in this blustery storm with our kids for a long time when we finally make it to the Pediatricians office and instead of being handed a solution, we’re often handed a blank to-do list. There is much to be done to help our children find their own unique versions of success, but first we must scrawl out that to-do list ourselves. It’s like bumping around in a dark room looking for the light switch. You know it’s there, but the only way to find it is to grope around the room feeling the roughness of the walls searching for the switch that is going to make all the difference.
Here's the thing: it is hard enough to do the things, without first having to find out what the things are that need to be done.
Recently I joined a brand-new Paediatric Clinic that aims to provide wrap-around, low-barrier services to families before, during, and after their referral to see a Paediatrician. Many families have children with complex and compounding diagnosis and every parent I spoke with had a similar story of exhaustion, grief, hopelessness, and fear. In my role as the Family Liaison, I was able to show them that I understood their experience, that everything they had experienced was normal and that they weren’t alone. Most importantly, I was able to point them in the direction of current education and resources that would suit their situations. They were able to begin mapping out their to-do list before they even saw the Paediatrician.
As the first year in my role as the Family Liaison at the CYAN Clinic neared its completion it became clearer that funding was becoming impossible to secure. There has been no public funding made available to run the clinic and both myself and Dr. Francis had been donating our time to keep the clinic open. As you may already be aware ADHD is virtually unfunded in the province of British Columbia. Although it is a neurodevelopmental disorder that impacts individuals across all social-emotional, physical, and academic domains, ADHD alone does not qualify our learners for extra funding or support at school under the current Ministry of Education guidelines. A diagnosis of ADHD will not qualify caregivers for any public funding sources for intervention tools, outside therapy, coaching, or support services. Desperate caregivers are paying out of pocket for services on top of taking time off work to attend meetings, appointments, and to frequently pick their child up from school when their child is expected to adapt to an environment that doesn’t work for them. The financial burden of raising a child with ADHD is reported to be 5 times higher than that of raising a neurotypical child , and yet there is no accessible funding for the most prevalent neurological condition in childhood. And as we at the CYAN Clinic have learned, there also appears to be no funding to keep accessible services open and available at no-cost to families. We must do better.
Multi-disciplinary paediatric teams that provide educational and emotional support services to families during the assessment and diagnosis process enable caregivers to create their own maps. Seeing a Paediatrician and receiving a diagnosis doesn’t mean the storm is over for families, but care from a Paediatric Clinic absolutely should be a lighthouse in that storm. Wrap around services that support caregivers at the time when their child receives a diagnosis enable caregivers to continue to be the lifeboat their children need while they ride the waves.
"My son was finally diagnosed with combined-type ADHD and learning disabilities when he was 7. He was assessed to be reading at an early kindergarten level when he was halfway through grade 2. With his diagnosis, medications, therapies and supports he is now caught up to grade-level at the end of grade 3.
In kindergarten and grade 1, my sweet boy was criticized and punished for being too disruptive. He was often isolated from his classmates and kept inside at recess. It was heartbreaking for both of us. Children with ADHD can be successful, but they need help to get there. My child never wanted to be bad or uncooperative… but he didn’t have the supports he needed to meet his needs.
His grade 2 teacher helped him get set up for support in the classroom and she helped me with her kindness by telling me he was working so hard to try and overcome his challenges in a setting that wasn’t designed for him. It is sad to know that many children probably struggle through school unnecessarily, because they don’t get the help they need. ADHD isn’t about being a bad child or a bad parent, it’s about accessing the right support and understanding for a growing brain that works differently!"
- Ouradhdlife, New Brunswick
#ADHDSpeaks
By: Healthline
If you frequently battle about screen time with your kids (don’t we all!) but want to learn how to enforce healthy boundaries, you’re certainly not alone.
Most parents are concerned about their child’s screen time. But parents and caregivers seem to have an extra challenge in helping kids with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) manage screen time.
“Electronic usage is part of daily life and is not inherently problematic, and as with many other issues, it is an issue of moderation,” says Mary Jane Weiss, PhD, BCBA-D, LABA, of Endicott College.
While screen time is associated with some benefits and some adverse side effects, it’s important for parents to examine their child’s screen use, the impact it’s having on the child, and the child’s overall behavior and well-being.
One positive effect of screen time for children with ADHD, says Weiss, is a high level of engagement in a preferred activity.
“Many children enjoy screen time, and it can be used as a reward for other less preferred tasks (such as homework completion), and depending on the activity, screen time can also be instructive,” she says.
For visual learners, Weiss says that engaging in academic tasks in virtual format may be more appealing and may even be more effective. It’s also a social outlet for many kids with ADHD, which can be beneficial when used appropriately.
However, one area that can be negatively impacted by screen time is sleep, says Khadijah Booth Watkins, MD, MPH, associate director of the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital. And for many kids with ADHD, sleep is already a challenge.
“This is particularly important for kids with ADHD as impaired sleep can worsen symptoms such as attention, concentration, and frustration tolerance,” she explains.
Not getting enough sleep can impact us all, and it’s important to make sure that our kids are getting enough sleep.
Screen time can also exacerbate concentration issues and mood disruptions for children with developmental disorders, as well as those prone to having anxiety issues, says Teodora Pavkovic, a nationally recognized psychologist and digital wellness expert at the K-12 EdTech company Linewize.
One reason, says Pavkovic, is that so much screen-based content is incredibly overstimulating for a child’s nervous system. Plus, children can find it very difficult to disengage from technology once they have become engaged.
Screen time has its place in a child’s life. However, how you go about enforcing healthy boundaries and approaching balance can increase cooperation and reduce arguments that often occur when kids are told to put a device down.
“We want to make sure our kids are striking a good and healthy balance between screen time and doing the other tasks that are developmentally appropriate and necessary such as extracurricular activities, spending time with friends, completing homework, family time, and so on,” says Booth Watkins.
With that in mind, here are 10 tips for helping kids with ADHD manage screen time.
Getting buy-in from everyone in the family is an essential first step when teaching kids how to manage screen time.
One way to get off on the right foot is to create a family media plan together. This includes conversations, brainstorming sessions, and considering ideas from each family member.
Don’t be afraid to be creative and think of ways to motivate and incentives to use to get your kids excited about the plan.
If you need help getting started, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has an excellent guide and interactive tool for creating a family media plan. They also have a media time calculator you can use once the plan is developed and implemented.
Screen time guidelines and boundaries should be age-appropriate. There are several recommendations online to help parents and guardians determine limits based on the types of content being consumed.
According to the AAP, there should be no screen time at all for children until 18 to 24 months, except for video chatting.
Kids ages 2 to 5 should be allowed less than 1 hour a day.
When it comes to older kids, the AAP recommends that parents and guardians negotiate limits and boundaries with their kids around screens. This is where the family media plan comes in handy.
Boundaries and consistency are crucial for children with ADHD. To help with this, Pavkovic recommends setting up a consistent screen schedule (in collaboration with your child, if they’re old enough) and minimizing their ability to move between too many different games or platforms during this time.
“Children with ADHD tend to find it hard enough to fight off distractions, so families are encouraged to really help them succeed with that as much as possible,” she says.
Just before screen time starts coming to an end, Pavkovic suggests providing some time prompts in a calm way and avoid ending screen time abruptly.
Some children do find time-based limitations too difficult to adhere to, though, so in those cases, she recommends developing an achievement-based strategy like “when you win x-number of gold coins in the game, you can stop.”
But of course, families will want to make sure that this remains within reasonable time limits.
For older kids, you can give a warning several minutes before screen time ends, with the goal of teaching the child to self-monitor with a timer, then go in and ask 5 minutes before the end of screen time, “How much time is left?” This will help the child learn to self-monitor, which is part of learning self-control.
“Children with ADHD appear to benefit from shorter periods of screen-based activities more frequently,” says Pavkovic.
For example, 40 minutes per day, 5 days a week, instead of 2 hours per day, twice a week. However, she says families are encouraged to tweak screen time to find a solution that shows the best behavioral outcome for their own child and then stick to this consistently.
Blocking apps, timers, and other tools are a parent’s best friend. Not only do they eliminate the verbal back and forth between adults and kids when it’s time to power off, but they also help parents keep tabs on what their kids are watching, doing, and viewing online.
Blocking apps and tools allow parents to turn off the internet connection to designated devices or block certain websites at specified times. Some internet providers and systems have their own programs you can use. Otherwise, there are a ton of free and subscription-based options such as:
Teaching kids healthy behaviors about screen time can also translate to healthy behaviors in life. That’s why Pavkovic recommends pairing up a screen time activity with some kind of physical activity so that the physical activity follows the tech-based one.
For example, after screen time is up, your child can choose from a list of physical activities like playing outside, bike riding, shooting baskets, dancing, or riding a scooter.
Pavkovic says to be very careful about cutting out or reducing screen time that is beneficial to your child.
“If your child is able to socialize through technology or enjoys being physically active by playing online games or following exercise tutorials, find other screen time activities that could be curbed instead,” she says.
This is also a great opportunity to encourage using screens for creativity, not just for consuming media.
When not in use, put all screens away. This applies to parents, too.
“Our kids take their cues from us, and we need to be deliberate in modeling healthy screen time and limits,” says Booth Watkins.
She points out that setting screen-free time and electronic-free zones that the entire family will adhere to can also be a good way to manage screen time in a way that doesn’t feel punitive. The kid won’t feel as targeted if the rule applies to the household.
For instance, no phones at the table for meals, or designate certain days and times as screen-free.
With that said, Booth Watkins says that parents may need to help kids think of other ways to spend their time.
“I often suggest, in advance, create a menu of activities that your child can choose to engage in, such as read a book, arts and crafts, play outside, play a board game, or other agreed-upon activities,” she explains.
Additionally, removing all devices from bedrooms at least 30 to 60 minutes before bedtime is critical for sleep. Plus, too much time spent on devices at night can negatively impact your child at school the next day.
Finally, consider storing all screens in a location that only parents or guardians are aware of. This reduces the chance that your child will get up in the middle of the night to look for their device.
Rather than think of this as screen time management, Booth Watkins says that we should think of this as helping our kids to develop healthy habits and healthy relationships with screen time.
“Kids with ADHD may need more support in helping them to internalize the new schedules and structure, especially since they may struggle in a greater way when it comes to tolerating delayed gratification,” she explains.
Investing time in a plan for screen time, fostering conversations about tech use, and working with your child to establish healthy habits can reduce conflict and encourage positive outcomes.
Technology use is a part of daily life, and helping kids to learn responsible tech use is an important skill.
Firstly, I would like to thank everyone who has sent an e-mail or tweet to their elected official through CADDAC’s online advocacy campaign. To-date, 178 e-mails have been sent through our Ontario campaign and 289 through our national campaign as well as countless tweets. More are being added every day. A special thanks to those of you who have taken the extra time to share your personal thoughts and stories in the e-mails to your elected officials. It is these personalized e-mails that touch politicians the most.
I would also like to encourage those of you who have not yet contacted your elected official and Minister of Education through this quick and easy tool, to please do so. Since CADDAC has a newsletter following of over six thousand, we sincerely hope to see many more e-mails sent.
I would also like to encourage all of you to share this information with your contact lists. Please access E-mail text to share, which will provide you with an e-mail to send to your friends, family and colleagues. Until those in a decision-making position, understand that their constituents actually do care about students with ADHD, things will remain the same.
At the launch of this campaign CADDAC reached out to every Ministry of Education across Canada except for Quebec. CADDAC is in the process of hiring a bilingual employee and is searching for Quebec partners to assist us in advocacy efforts in that province.
To-date six of the twelve ministries contacted have replied to our e-mail, Nova Scotia, Manitoba, North West Territories, Yukon, Saskatchewan, and Ontario. Of these all six have agreed to meet. We have already met with representatives of the Ministry of Nova Scotia and have meetings booked with the Ministries of North West Territories, Manitoba, Saskatchewan. We are waiting for the meeting times to be set for Ontario and Yukon.
During our calls we expect to discuss ways in which Ministries can improve teacher training in ADHD, ensure that students with ADHD are receiving the resources they require and increase ADHD information on ministry web sites and other platforms to ensure that ADHD is recognized as a serious learning risk. In addition, during these calls we are gathering information on the unique process each province uses to flag students with special needs, when and how they develop individual learning plans for these students and how students with ADHD fare in their process. We are also asking about the role of parents in developing individual education plans.
Due to a media release sent out on January the 21st four media interviews occurred. Interviews with Global News Radio 900 CHML Hamilton, CBC Vancouver, CHEK News Victoria, and a free lance journalist in Alberta resulted in news stories and a live news radio interview.
When our Ministry meetings are completed CADDAC will send out another media release summarizing the meetings and comparing provincial supports for students with ADHD.
CADDAC has also sent out a request to ADHD medical professionals and ADHD support groups across Canada asking that they share the ADHD Right to Learn campaign information far and wide.
Please take a few minutes to help us advocate for students with ADHD across Canada by sending an e-mail or tweet to your elected official and passing on the ADHD Right to Learn campaign information.
Warm regards,
Heidi Bernhardt
CADDAC Founder and Director or Education and Advocacy
Have you heard about CADDAC’s ADHD Education campaign, ADHD Right to Learn?
Are you wondering why you should take a few minutes to contact your elected official and your Minister of Education?
Here’s Why
Elected officials believe that you, their constituents, do not care about ADHD and therefore question why they should care. We need to prove them wrong!
An e-mail or tweet from you will let them know that you do care that children with ADHD receive the special education support they need.
Your elected officials and your Ministry of Education need to be informed that:
During CADDAC’s recent online conference I presented on school advocacy. At the end of the presentation many of the questions were let unanswered or briefly answered. Since many of these questions are common questions that CADDAC receives, I will be sharing the answers to these questions in several blog posts over the next few months.
Written by Heidi Bernhardt R.N.
Question 2
Will my Child with ADHD Receive an Individual Education Plan?
Please note that IEPs or Individual Education Plans are known as SEPs, IPPs, SSPs, and ISSPs in some provinces.
These are a sample of questions I received during my recent online CADDAC presentation on school advocacy.
Questions
“We had a child psychologist do an assessment on her and she was diagnosed with ADHD. The school has the report. The principal said that ADHD doesn't get an IEP!?!?!?”
"The identification system can block a student with ADHD from receiving services if ADHD does not fit into a designated category - what are the possible designated categories for ADHD in ON?”
“I was told by my daughter's principal (in the Thames Valley District School Board) that she didn't qualify to get an IEP because ADHD doesn't get an IEP. Is this accurate?”
“I have same issue - does not qualify for IEP - West Vancouver School District (BC).”
The short and very confusing answer is that it depends on which province you are in, the board and school your child is in and the good will and ADHD knowledge level of the principal and teachers in your child’s school.
Summary of Special Education Systems in Canada and ADHD
This is a brief summary of the current situation across our provinces to help you understand your province’s system in context of all Canadian special education systems.
Access post-secondary for information on the right to accommodations in this environment.
If you currently reside in British Columbia, your child will most likely not have access to an IEP unless they have another disability that fits into one of BCs special needs categories. While BC’s Special Education Guidelines state that “ Individual Education Plan Order M638/95: sets out the requirements for school boards to design and implement individual education plans for students with special needs,” they define a student with special needs as: "A student who has a disability of an intellectual, physical, sensory, emotional or behavioural nature, has a learning disability or has special gifts or talents, as defined in the Manual of Policies, Procedures, and Guidelines, Section E.” The fact that ADHD does not fit into one of the defined categories is used to disqualify a student with ADHD from receiving an IEP. BC has indicated their intent to move to an inclusion system of identification but have not done so at this time.
Ontario has a similar system of identification using five defined categories, behaviour, intellect, communication, physical and multiple. ADHD does not fit into the criteria, or definition, of any of these categories. Therefore, schools and boards have been able to use this fact to refuse officially identifying students with ADHD as special needs students through an IPRC, or identification, placement, review committee. In December of 2011 a Ministry Memorandum explained that a student with ADHD could be identified under any category if they have a “demonstrable learning needs”. Unfortunately, this term left room for interpretation because shortly thereafter the Ministry agreed that schools and boards have the right to set the level of impairment that would qualify a student for the designation where they see fit.
So, does a student in Ontario have the right to an IEP if they have an ADHD disability related need? The Ontario Human Rights Commission certainly believes that they have a right to accommodations and states that the Ministry leaves itself open to litigation if a student with ADHD is denied accommodations and support due to the categories of exceptionality. Access this blog for more details.
What is currently occurring in Ontario around this issue is total inconsistency across boards and even within the same board. The TDSB has stated that a student with ADHD may receive an IEP, if they are impaired, but will not allow an IPRC. This leaves the implementation of an IEP at the school’s discretion and also allows it to be pulled at the school’s discretion. Other boards seem to be accepting the Memorandum’s guidance and being more open to formally identifying students with ADHD. And other boards continue to refuse IEPs for students with ADHD. In our experience, one of the greatest indicators as to whether a student with ADHD will receive an IEP and/or special education services and accommodations in Ontario is the principal and teacher’s knowledge level of ADHD.
For the other provinces who do recognize ADHD in a category or use a system of inclusion that does not require recognition under a category the implementation of an IEP is also hit and miss. As indicated previously, a great deal depends on how the educators working with your child interpret what they see as impairments caused by a disability. This is what will trigger more investigation and medical documentation to substantiate an exceptional learning need.
My advice to all parents across the country seeking support for their children with ADHD in our schools is to document your child’s impairments and struggles in as many ways possible. Gather medical documentation as well as examples of: academic marks and comments, work product, excess time or assistance required to complete assignments and tasks, and behaviour and social issues that are impairing your child. Do this even if your child is doing “alright” academically. Just because a child is bright and not failing does not mean they do not have a disability that required support and accommodations. It will then be up to you to use this documentation to convince your child’s principal that he/she is impaired to a level that warrants support. If your child is still being denied an IEP, I suggest that you move up the chain of command and speak with your board’s superintendent, preferably one for special education, but not all boards have this position. If you are in Ontario, I also suggest that you take advantage of the language on page 13 of Policy on accessible education for students with disabilities when speaking with your boards if they are continuing to deny access to an IEP.
Once your child has received an IEP please know that you, as a parent, have the right to assist in the development of the IEP. Use CADDAC Accommodations Charts to assist you in this process.
Please feel free to reach out to me (heidi.bernhardt@caddac.ca) to report on your progress. I am very interested in being informed about the ongoing struggles to access support for students with ADHD.
Once you receive an IEP for your child, holding schools accountable for the implementation of an IEP is a whole other issue, but that will require another blog post, stay tuned.
If these issues are of concern to you, please stay tuned for our education advocacy campaign “ADHD Right to Learn” being launched soon.
We need all of your voices to help us effect change!
