A few weeks ago, my child stepped off the school bus quietly, and grabbed my hand to walk home with an uncharacteristically quiet demeanor. He is usually bouncing, with his backpack unzipped and bubbling about new facts he’s learned - or about how he doesn’t quite trust the new facts he’s learned. In my mind, he is a tiny excited professor, with his black-rimmed glasses and constant skepticism about my extremely thorough and age-appropriate answers to his constant stream of questions.
All became clear, however, when he handed me his yellow assessment folder, which housed a math test where the mark didn’t reflect his (above grade) knowledge. Curious, I reviewed the test with him and discovered that he completely missed the second part of a question, didn’t check back of the page thereby missing another question, and didn’t understand what a third question was asking - and didn’t ask for help. When I asked him about the test, it was clear he didn’t receive the support to which he was entitled, as per his Individualized Education Plan (IEP).
I could see the deleterious impact of this test on my otherwise happy, curious and engaged child and my chest tightened; what was a frustrated mama to do?! Breathe with me for a second, as I switch from mama mode to teacher mode.
In assessment, we want to ensure that what we end up measuring is actually what we intended to measure. Sometimes, because of implicit biases of its creators, the measurement instrument itself (e.g., the test) creates unintended “noise”, obfuscating the results. In standardized testing, for example, questions framed outside of one cultural set of norms result in poorer test scores; just a small change to reword it in a familiar cultural context, equalizes scores. This is just one example of one type of assessment bias, and because it holds to a single state of what is expected (an assumption that makes little sense in schools today), it unfairly discriminates against those unfamiliar with it.
In the same way, the classroom teacher wants to measure math proficiency with the test. But, if a child doesn’t understand or even see the questions, the resulting scores don’t measure proficiency with math. In the case of my child, the test measured, for example, his ability to hold a second instruction to a question in working memory, which we already know is impaired due to ADHD. Clearly differentiating the separate instructions through format, layout, numbers/letters or by highlighting is one small change that would help my child to demonstrate his proficiency at math, allowing the test to now measure what it set out to measure.
Given that the purpose of the assessment is to determine if my child knows and understands the math content and can demonstrate it accordingly, accommodations are in place to ensure any barriers that create “noise” in the results are removed. His accommodations include having the teacher go over/mark up the questions with him individually during the test to ensure he sees and understands all the questions. The same accommodations might apply to ESL students, for example. In addition, his accommodations include receiving a test that is laid out more clearly and formatted differently, where specific word cues are highlighted in some way, where there is a clear visual cue (such as an arrow) to indicate additional questions on the reverse side. The same accommodations might apply to a student with a visual impairment, for example. Additional small changes for assessing him include that he can be tested verbally, be assigned a scribe, take the test in a separate room and take additional time to complete.
Now, back to mama mode.
When my son came home that day, he dejectedly handed me his yellow assessment folder, head down and shoulders slumped; the sight of which broke my heart. But it wasn’t just this one test, anymore. The repeated experience of getting poor test results back, especially in subject areas in which he excels conceptually, had been chipping away at his confidence, self-esteem and self-efficacy. He was starting to dread school, and losing motivation to bother with schoolwork. The actual mark on this math test was never my concern, nor the impetus for acting. Rather, it was the excruciating realization, as both a teacher and parent, that schooling was destroying my child’s seemingly unquenchable thirst for learning.
I gave him a big hug and told him that there was a mistake with the test, and that it wasn’t set up in a way that allowed him to show his teacher what he actually knew. He seemed relieved that it wasn’t his own failing. I asked him if he’d prefer the teacher verbally test him on the questions he missed, and he lit up.
I sent an email to the teacher to ask if accommodations had been given for this test, and asked her to make one small change by re-assessing him verbally for this subject matter. Teachers, just like our children, are doing the best they can, and a gentle reminder, in the context of the partnership that has been consistently nurtured all year, is both kind and helpful, if your child isn’t getting the support they should be. Teachers have deep expertise in many areas, but you are the subject matter expert on your child’s needs. It is likely you hold key information that, once shared with the teacher, can make a world of difference to both teacher and student. You are your child’s advocate, cheerleader and protector - and your involvement in your child’s education is your right.
The next day I received a note from the teacher thanking me for the reminder about testing himverbally. That afternoon, he bounded off the bus, raced into my arms, yellow folder already in hand and head held high; my tiny professor had aced the test.
When I first got diagnosed with ADHD just over two years ago, my therapist told to me about something she and her colleagues dubbed “The Three-Year Reckoning.” They gave it this name after noticing it happen time and time again in their practice; things finally starting to fall into place for their clients after their ADHD was diagnosed and treatment followed. Slowly but surely, they start to become the version of themselves they have always wanted to be and let me just say, wow, am I in the thick of it now!
It all started for me at the age of 39, when I was diagnosed after my ex-husband and daughters were, as it often happens with women. In fact, most women don’t get diagnosed with ADHD until about the age of 38 and there I was, another statistic for the research papers. My official diagnoses are combined ADHD, social anxiety related to performance and a math learning disability called Dyscalculia. And while it was a relief to finally be diagnosed, that grief that so many ADHDers talk about was also very real and it shook me to my core.
In my advocacy I call it “The Sixth Sense Effect,” that moment you realize it was ADHD all along. Stupid, stupid ADHD screwing with me, my family and everything around me! I had countless sleepless nights rewinding and overanalyzing the movie reel of my life and ruminating about what could’ve and should’ve been had I been diagnosed earlier.
Could school have been easier for me, and would I be smarter and or successful today as a result? Could I have pursued a job I would have loved in journalism or entertainment if I didn’t struggle so much with RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) and performance anxiety? Could I have saved my marriage if I got my control and anger issues in check sooner? Could I have been a better mom who didn’t rage so much and not have traumatized my kids the way I did? Let’s face it ladies, we could “shoulda, woulda, coulda” ourselves to death but it’s not something I recommend because we can’t change what was or what could have been. We are here now; things cannot be erased and all we can do is move forward with grace.
So, in true ADHD fashion, I moved forward in fast forward and hyper focused hard. The difference was that this time, the focus was on ME. What a notion, huh moms? Giving ourselves the time and attention we need to get better? And what I learned quickly is the more I looked in the mirror, dug deep and devoted myself to my own treatment with medication, therapies and an intense devotion to improving and maintaining my physical health, the faster it all got better for my daughters too.
If you’re reading this blog, I’m assuming you know a thing or two about neurodiversity and how it’s genetic and tends to cluster in families, friend groups and work groups. There was even a study done on it recently called “Birds of a Feather” that proved just how prevalent it is. And it makes sense, doesn’t it? People with different brains being drawn to one another for just that reason? Yet when I talk to the women in the support group I run and as I continue to advocate, I find more and more that it’s often the atypical control freak, ultra organized, chronically overwhelmed and emotionally unstable neurodivergent moms who are the ones that are diagnosed last. We just learned to mask it so well that we can even fool ourselves. This is why I can’t stress enough how important it is for ALL family members to be screened once one is diagnosed.
My first day on medication was wild. I had that typical first experience of it kicking in and my world being rocked. Not everyone has that experience but, in my case, it’s exactly how it went. Within one hour of the meds kicking in, I felt the tension leave my body and it was quiet. Like, really quiet. I felt calm, focused, less agitated, less anxious, clear minded and moved through my day with ease. I remember crying myself to sleep that night at the realization that after trying so many things for so long; therapy, antidepressants, getting healthy and blowing up my life, this was one of the things I clearly needed all along. Yet not one of the 4 therapists I went to saw it in me, even the one that noticed it in my ex after meeting him only twice. I was angry and sad, and it was in that moment I knew I would never shut up about it so let me hop up on my soap box real quick and allow me to remind you all of a few things:
We HAVE ADHD. It’s IT and not US that trips us up from time to time. It doesn’t define us; we didn’t ask for it and we don’t deserve it. These are our symptoms, not our personality and we’re not bad people, moms, dads, or friends. It is possible and up to us to take control of these symptoms, though, and this I know for sure. Not all the way and we’ll never be perfect but with ADHD being one of the most treatable disorders in the world, as full-blown adults it’s our responsibility to treat the symptoms as best we can with the resources we have. Our diagnosis is an explanation but not an excuse so if you learn anything from reading this blog, I hope it’s this: pursuing a diagnosis and treatment is worth it, things can and will get better, and you’ll never regret it.
I must say I’m still pretty bitter about it being missed in me my entire life. We tend to ask ourselves things like how the hell did the doctors and therapists not see it? Was it not obvious? Do they not know enough about it? How did I, the world’s biggest know-it-all, not know!? I guess the short answer is that it’s just not obvious for most girls and women who tend to be more internally hyperactive, inattentive and daydreamy but I can assure you I am NOT. From the day I shot out of the womb, I was loud, hyperactive, charismatic, funny, quirky and unique. I’m a first generation Canadian, raised in a very strict home in the 80’s so ADD, as it would’ve been called back then, wasn’t something anyone around me would’ve heard of. And being the bright, cunning, resourceful girl I was, I flew under the radar for a very long time.
And about that Three-Year Reckoning I wrote about earlier? Here’s a not-so-comprehensive list of all the things I’ve done since diagnosed just over two years ago:
I’m pretty blown away by this list myself and almost in tears as I’m getting it all down. I take all the time in the world to list my to-dos and should-dos but have never actually sat down to list my “have-dones” until now. Please don’t tell my therapist, she’ll kill me! She’s told me a million times to write them down and shove them in my face, all the things I’ve accomplished and am proud of. But I’m just not the journaling kind. Maybe this is my cue, though, to get at it and finally put some pen to paper and write a book or something. I don’t know, but I’m sure I’ll get to it some day.
Lastly, I want to mention, for anyone who resents the use of the term “superpower” when it comes to ADHD, let’s agree to disagree. I’m no dumb dumb and well aware my untreated ADHD effed up my life more than it helped it and ADHD itself is not a superpower. But when we can get the symptoms in check, all the amazing things that usually come with ADHD can help us soar, no doubt. Those we can use as superpowers and promote them as such, especially to instill some confidence in our neurodivergent youth who need it so badly right now.
I know I wouldn’t be the person I am or be where I am today without my ADHD and I can say with 100% certainty that if given the option, I would never give it back. I am the coolest, most fun mom, the most loyal and ridiculously funny friend, an intensely loving and giving human being, devoted to making a difference and doing good in the world. I’m hella intuitive, creative and capable of balancing much more than the average human because I’m not your average human. Sure, I probably screw up and act out more often than others do. But now that I’ve learned to quickly repair and forgive myself and others, I’m learning to love me and my unique brain more and more each day. We’re a pretty cool pair, my brain and me. Stuck with one another for all of eternity. And I’m okay with that. Very okay with that.
I always grew up feeling like I never quite belonged no matter who I was with or what activities I was doing. I could be in a crowded room and would often still feel completely alone. Sometimes I felt I struggled to truly connect with people. I often would space out during school, I was clumsy, would forget things constantly, and always struggled to start things and or finish things. I’d get so mad at myself, sitting there with so much to do,but yet sitting there frozen, unable to move to start anything that needed to be done. Over the years I started to say to myself that it must be due to me being lazy, weird, broken or stupid. I learned to laugh at myself or at subtle digs others would make towards my faults as a way to cope, making it appear as if I wasn’t bothered. Slowly mine and others words broke me down bit by bit, forever feeling like I couldn't live up to mine or anyones else's expectations, forever feeling like a failure. It seemed no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't do things right. I was and still am always harder on myself than anyone ever could be. I come off as unphased, but inside I often feel small, insufficient and never enough.
All of those feelings led to having and being diagnosed with anxiety and depression. A Counselor in my early 20’s seemed quite certain I had ADHD. ADHD to me were the kids that were always getting into trouble and bouncing off the walls, I was always a quiet kid, so therefore I could not possibly have ADHD. My ADHD testing at that time came back inconclusive due to the fact that at that time in my life my anxiety was not well managed and anxiety symptoms and ADHD Symptoms can be similar. I thought it was far-fetched that I had ADHD, so I didn't think any more about it.
In my mid 20’s I had my son, after his birth I was diagnosed with Postpartum depression. My feelings of not belonging, forgetfulness, fear of failure, and being never enough increased substantially with a new baby at home. With depression meds and counseling my mood improved some, enough that I could get by, but something always still felt off. I still didn't feel happy, I still felt inadequate, I still just felt overall stuck.
When my son hit the age of 4, I started seeing that in many ways he wasn't like his peers, he felt feelings to the max and struggled to regulate emotions. My feeling was that quite possibly he had ADHD. In my journey researching for my son, I started coming across posts about women getting diagnosed after their child got diagnosed, and similarly had depression but always thought maybe there was more to the story. I did more research and started to realize how differently ADHD can present in women. I got a thorough evaluation by a psychologist and it turned out that I have combined type ADHD.
I was happy that my diagnosis would possibly provide more answers in regards to my son, but as the diagnosis started to sink in,I would almost say I went through stages of grief.
Starting with DENIAL, I attempted to deny that ADHD had/has much of an impact on my life. I try to play it off as, it's no big deal, and it does not overly affect me.I also considered that maybe the psychologist and all the different tests were wrong.
As the slow realization of how great of an impact it has and does have on my entire life the ANGER kicked in. I felt that it isn’t fair and found myself just wishing that I could be “normal”. There was also anger that I didn't listen and follow up more in my early 20s when the counselor suggested that I have ADHD. I was angry at my reality and what it meant for my past, present and future.
BARGANING,I kept telling myself if I just try harder or do things differently it will make everything okay. Funny enough that isn't exactly how this ADHD thing works.
The feelings of anger turned to sadness aka the stage of grief also known as the DEPRESSION stage. I felt like many lost opportunities, a lot of negative self-talk, a lot of lost potential happiness due to my ADHD and also due to the lack of knowing. Thinking back to when I would refer to myself as lazy, weird, stupid, broken, usually those feelings and feelings of inadequacy all stemmed from the differences in how my brain functioned, struggles with executive function and other traits related to ADHD. The sadness of realizing many things will always quite possibly be more challenging for me than many.
ACCEPTANCE is challenging. Sometimes I go back and forth to the depression and anger stage while working on the acceptance piece. I tend to hold myself to very high standards (perfectionism, apparently a very common trait among women with ADHD) , so it's difficult for me to accept that I just can't snap my fingers and fix myself. I keep thinking that if I am aware of my struggles, I should be able to just fix it all. A great example of this is initiating tasks, like writing this blog. I kept laying there knowing I needed to write this, but felt frozen , overwhelmed and unable to start. I knew that this is happening because of my ADHD and is one of my ADHD things. To me, because I recognize it, then I should easily be able to overcome it. Unfortunately recognizing it despite being a good step, did not miraculously make me overcome my struggle or make it disappear. Wishful thinking that it would be that easy.
I am working on accepting myself where I am, learning new coping mechanisms, being kind to myself, all while continuing to take steps towards personal growth. I am realizing the acceptance stage has many parts. It isn't just accepting the diagnosis, it's becoming accepting of who you are and all that it entails.
From the tender age of 7, I felt like an outsider in every facet of life - at home, with friends, in school, and even at work. Through my formative years and into young adulthood, I grappled with a general sense of not belonging, struggling beneath the weight of undiagnosed ADHD. Homework sessions with my determined mother became both a testament to her unwavering support and a battleground against my relentless inner turmoil. While her encouragement instilled in me a steadfast sense of determination, my undiagnosed condition amplified my struggles, making every task feel like an insurmountable challenge.
Throughout my schooling, I soldiered on, hesitant to seek assistance, haunted by memories of late-night battles with assignments. Despite occasional disruptions, my ADHD remained undetected, hidden behind a veil of untapped potential. Little did anyone, including myself, realize the toll my efforts were exacting as I attempted to navigate an educational system seemingly designed to stump me.
University marked the onset of a downward spiral. The skills I had practiced proved inadequate in the face of growing academic demands, leaving me lost without the familiar guidance of my mother. Despite my passion for psychology, my inability to study effectively, coupled with chronic procrastination, undermined my confidence and led to academic underachievement.
Yet, amidst the chaos, I discovered a silver lining – I truly had a knack for multitasking, communicating effectively, and somehow maintaining a measure of order amid the chaos. These skills paved the way for a role in medical administration at an ADHD clinic in Toronto. Amidst the clinic's closure, I finally received the diagnosis that shed light on a lifetime of struggles: ADHD.
With my diagnosis came understanding, reframing my perception of myself and my capabilities. Embracing my unique cognitive circumstances, I embarked on a mission to celebrate the strengths inherent in an ADHD brain, challenging the prevailing narrative of doom and gloom. Despite the inevitable hurdles, I found success. I founded and owned my own virtual healthcare administrative business for eight years before transitioning to the corporate arena, where my talents are recognized and even nurtured. But also, I have been fortunate to have found a supportive partner and have two wonderful daughters. Having created a life that I sometimes did not think would happen for me.
If my story resonates with you, I offer a sign of hope: embrace your path, please seek out the support you deserve, and view your diagnosis not as a burden, but as an opportunity for some self-discovery and growth. Within the muddle of difficulty lies the promise of self-realization and empowerment. Learning to embrace your potential, for within the depths of your unique mind lies boundless opportunity.
This journey with ADHD has been one of constant discovery and growth. At times, it felt like an uphill battle, navigating through a world that seemed designed for minds unlike mine. But with every challenge also became a powerful lesson, and with every setback, an opportunity to redefine success on my own terms.
One of the most profound realizations on this journey was understanding the true power of self-acceptance. For years, I struggled against the societal and family expectations, feeling inadequate because my mind simply worked differently. Except through my experiences, I have come to embrace the richness of my mind and its difference.
ADHD is not a limitation; it is a unique lens through which I perceive and interact with the world. And once I embraced this perspective, doors began to open widely, and my possibilities seem endless.
My journey also taught me the importance of seeking support and leveraging resources. For too long, I bore the weight of my struggles alone, unaware that help was within reach. But with my diagnosis came a network of professionals and peers who understood my journey and offered guidance and support. Whether through therapy, medication, or simply connecting with others who shared similar experiences, I found solace in knowing that I was not alone on this path.
But perhaps the most transformative aspect of this journey has been reframing my understanding of success. In a world that often measures achievement by conventional standards, I have learned to redefine success on my own terms. It is not about fitting into a predetermined norm or meeting subjective benchmarks; it is about embracing my unique talents and finding fulfillment in the journey itself. And in doing so, I have discovered a sense of purpose and satisfaction that surpasses traditional notions of success.
I believe that I stand as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of self-discovery. My journey with ADHD has been anything but easy, but it has also been incredibly rewarding. Through the highs and lows, I have emerged stronger, a bit wiser, and a lot more resilient than I ever thought possible.
So, to anyone navigating through their own journey with ADHD, I would like to offer my advice: embrace your uniqueness, seek out for support, or help, and never lose sight of your potential. The road ahead may feel constantly challenging and even exhausting, but within you lies the power to overcome any obstacle and to forge your own path to fulfillment.
Hello CADDAC Community,
I’m Brenda Logan, a counselling therapist and registered nurse, and I’d like to share my story with you. It's a story about living with ADHD and insomnia, about the challenges and triumphs, and the power of support and understanding.
My journey began in childhood, marked by a constant feeling of being out of sync. Like many girls of my generation, my struggles with ADHD were not recognized. The disorder was less understood, especially in females, and I grappled with a pervasive sense of disorganization and forgetfulness. School presented its own set of challenges - misplaced items, forgotten assignments, and an overwhelming feeling that my brain functioned differently. It was a silent, internal struggle, lacking a name or a clear path to understanding.
Entering college, the challenges of ADHD became more pronounced. Yet, it was during these formative years that the support of key individuals shone through. They provided encouragement and understanding, helping me navigate the complexities of higher education. Their belief in my abilities, coupled with my determination, propelled me through various obstacles. This journey through college was not just about acquiring knowledge; it was about building resilience and learning the value of perseverance and support.
I recognize that my journey through higher education was not just a result of hard work and determination but also a product of luck and privilege. The opportunity to pursue higher education is a privilege that not everyone has access to, and I am deeply aware of and grateful for the advantages it provided me. This awareness fuels my commitment to empathize with and support others from diverse backgrounds and circumstances.
The turning point in understanding my ADHD came unexpectedly in my 50s. While attending a professional training session on ADHD, I experienced a moment of profound self-recognition. The struggles described were not just clinical observations but mirrored my experiences. This revelation opened the door to a world of understanding and treatment options. It marked the beginning of a new chapter, where my condition had a name and a path towards management.
Since beginning my treatment for ADHD, the most impactful change has been my ability to be truly present. I can connect with people on a deeper level, track conversations, and experience a sense of calm I had never known before. The constant 'hamster wheel' of restlessness in my chest has quieted, allowing me to engage with the world in a more meaningful and grounded way.
Parallel to my journey with ADHD was my struggle with chronic insomnia. For years, sleep eluded me, with bedtime procrastination and restless nights being constant companions. This struggle led me to explore Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I). My pursuit of CBT-I training not only brought relief to my sleep issues but also revealed a significant overlap between insomnia and ADHD among my clients. This insight was pivotal, guiding me to integrate ADHD and sleep problems into my therapeutic focus.
My personal experiences with ADHD and insomnia have profoundly shaped my approach to therapy. I understand the frustrations and challenges of these conditions, and I strive to create a therapeutic space where my clients feel seen and understood. Empathy, grounded in shared experience, is the cornerstone of my practice. I believe in the transformative power of feeling validated and supported, and I aim to provide that to everyone who walks through my door.
My background in nursing has significantly influenced my counselling practice with a
multidisciplinary approach that allows me to see each client's situation through a comprehensive lens, considering the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit. I believe in treating the whole person, not just the symptoms, and this philosophy underpins every aspect of my work.
An important lesson I've learned through my journey is that it's never too late for treatment and to make positive changes, particularly for those in their 50s and beyond. Getting an ADHD diagnosis when I did, at this stage in life, felt like suddenly turning on a light in a dark room. It wasn't just surprising; it gave me a new sense of hope. This was a real eye-opener for me. I discovered that treatments that work aren't just for young people. Even in my 50s, there were options that could make a big difference. It was like finding out there was a key to a door I didn't even know was there.
Women like me, embarking on this path later in life, might face unique challenges. We might look back and wonder how our lives could have been different with earlier recognition and intervention. Yet, it's essential to recognize the strength and potential that lie in the present moment. The insights and understanding we gain now can lead to profound personal growth and a better quality of life.
My experience is a testament to this. Embarking on treatment in my 50s opened new doors to self-awareness, improved relationships, and a deeper connection with others. It allowed me to be more present, to listen and engage more fully. This journey taught me that change an growth are always possible, regardless of age.
So, to all women who are discovering their ADHD later in life, know this: you are not alone, andit's not too late. There is immense value in understanding yourself better now and using that knowledge to shape your future. The journey towards treatment and positive change can begin at any stage of life, bringing new opportunities for fulfillment and joy.
My journey with ADHD has been one of continuous learning and growth. It has taught me the importance of understanding, adaptation, and empathy, which has instilled a commitment to supporting individuals through their challenges, empowering them to transform these obstacles into opportunities for growth and fulfillment.
In sharing my experiences, I hope to enhance understanding and support for those with ADHD. Recognizing ADHD as a neurobiological condition rather than a personal or moral failing can shift the way we view it. This change can lead to less stigma and more self-kindness, helping us better understand our experiences. It paves the way for more effective help and more substantial efforts in advocacy and education. As a result, we can become more confident in asking for what we need and using our unique abilities. This empowers us to build more rewarding lives, turning challenges with ADHD into opportunities for personal growth and empowerment.
Thank you for allowing me to share a part of my journey with you. I hope my story can offer comfort, understanding, and a sense of shared experience to those navigating similar paths.
Take care of yourself (you’re worth it!),
Brenda
As early as I can remember I never really felt like I fit in, like I was somehow different from my peers.
I never understood why things seemed to come easily to others, but never to me. From time management and emotional regulation, to my messy room, I struggled with all of it.
What was wrong with me?!?!
As a teen, my struggles with mental illness started to make things more complicated and I had to work even harder to try to keep up with life in general. I turned to drugs and alcohol at a young age to cope with the chaos churning inside of me. The partying continued my whole life, throughout college, while building a career, growing a family, etc.
Despite all this, I managed to build an amazing life with my husband, our kids, and animals. I had a good career I was proud of and, on the surface, looked like I was just a “normal” 30-something adult with her ducks in a row. On the inside, however, I felt completely broken. I was drowning just trying to keep up with life, and struggling with a dependency on alcohol that I hid as best as I could.
My younger brother was diagnosed with ADHD in early 2022, which is what initially triggered my curiosity, and when I started researching ADHD in women it BLEW my mind! I felt like suddenly it all made sense, which led to me booking an appointment with my doctor for an assessment ASAP.
Ultimately, at 36 years of age, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and made the decision to try medication to help manage my symptoms. I remember crying one of the first days I took it, for the first time in my life my mind was quiet! 36 years of constant chaos in my mind and it just stopped - WHOA!
I’d love to say that receiving this diagnosis was my happy ending, but unfortunately, it wasn’t quite like that for me.
At this point in my life, I was the unhealthiest I’d ever been - both mentally and physically. There was also the aspect of having lived the past 36 years unknowingly neurodiverse in a world not built for me that I needed to unpack and understand… which was obviously a lot.
A couple of months after my diagnosis I had a complete breakdown and needed to take a significant leave of absence from work. Everything I thought I knew about who I was, a life I’d spent trying to be like everyone else when I was anything but… it felt like I just completely shattered.
I started working heavily on myself and my recovery, learning tools to help stabilize my mental health, educating myself on ADHD and taking control of my physical health.
I began to learn who Danielle actually was and how to start to allow myself to be me - without the masking! I learned about my sensory sensitivities, stimming, triggers, and issues with my executive function. I addressed the negative beliefs I had about myself that were related to my ADHD, and began creating new, healthy narratives surrounding those.
Fast forward to now…
For me, being diagnosed with ADHD was the biggest blessing in disguise… sounds a little crazy, I know. It forced me to do HARD work on myself, and I wanted to give up so many times, but I’m so proud for sticking it out because in all the mess of rebuilding and recovery, I have found stability.
For the first time in my life, I can say I’m balanced, with a newfound inner peace, healthy head-to-toe, and I’m truly thriving! I’m learning to advocate for myself as well as others, and the importance of setting boundaries.
I’ve learned that I’m not like anyone else and I’m now proud of that! It’s also pretty freeing to wake up in the morning and just be me! I’m unique, talented, I work well under pressure and I’m incredibly creative. I also noticed I stopped drinking every day - I didn’t need it anymore to cope. Partly because of this, I managed to lose a bunch of weight and I’m able to think more clearly. I’m learning how to have a casual drink or two, and not binge until I’m wasted in an attempt to bury my demons.
I’ve found my purpose in advocacy, started a mental health apparel business and am working everyday to help others feel seen and heard. Parts of this journey were incredibly lonely, but if I can help just one person feel less alone or offer some piece of advice to aid someone on their own path, that will be enough for me.
I know I still have a lot of work ahead of me, learning new skills, and keeping myself stable, but I found Danielle - the real, quirky me! No masks, no boxes to fit in… just me, and THAT is pretty darn amazing!
A suitable working environment can make a huge difference for someone with ADHD. When a person with ADHD leaves a job, they often mention a lack of support from their employer as the main reason why they decide to move on. Managing an employee with ADHD can be very rewarding, provided that time and effort is taken to understand how the disorder impacts the employee and their responsibilities at work.
Here are some of the most common FAQs about ADHD and the workplace.
Q: What is ADHD?
A: Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is the most common neurodevelopmental disorder in children and adults, affecting 3-5% of adults and 5-9% of children or 1.8 million Canadians (Riegler et al. 2017, statistics Canada, 2022).
While core ADHD symptoms include hyperactivity, impulsivity, and attention dysregulation; hyperactivity and impulsivity may be less externalized in those diagnosed with ADHD inattentive subtype. ADHD is also known to impair executive functions (EF). Executive functions refer to a range of higher-level skills critical for successful functioning in everyday life, such as planning, organizing, time management, working memory, processing speed, task initiation, emotional regulation, and self-awareness (Gair et al., 2020). Executive functions impact one’s ability to meet deadlines, plan and organize, problem solve, follow instructions, start, and complete a task, and manage emotional outbursts (Villines, 2021).
ADHD is a chronic condition; only 15% of children with ADHD show remission of symptomatic and functional impairment in adulthood (World Federation Guide, 2019). ADHD is highly heritable with rates between 70-90%, meaning if a parent has ADHD, it is highly likely their children will also have ADHD (Faraone and Larsson 2018).
ADHD impacts all areas of a person’s life. Untreated ADHD can lead to devastating consequences over the course of a person’s life. Children are at risk for accidental injuries, educational underachievement, and difficulties with socializing, while adolescents are at risk for early-onset substance use, delinquency, and teenage pregnancy (CADDAC, CADDRA, CanReach, 2022). Many adults fail to reach their full potential, with studies showing increased risk for substance use disorders, accidental injuries, unemployment, gambling, low quality of life, suicide, and premature death (CADDAC, CADDRA, CanReach, 2022).
Q: What are some of the most common ways ADHD appears in the workplace?
A: How ADHD impacts job performance depends on many factors – the type and severity of symptoms, the suitability of the job to the employee’s strengths, and how successfully the employee uses strategies to offset any of their weaknesses. Here are a few of the most common ways that ADHD shows up at work:
Read more at https://caddac.ca/wp-content/uploads/Workplace-accomodations-Chart-FINAL.pdf
Q: Should I disclose my ADHD diagnosis at my job?
A: This is a very personal decision and remains a controversial topic. Disclosing your ADHD to those who may not understand the condition could lead to your being viewed negatively, since stigma and misunderstandings about ADHD still exist. On the other hand, if your employer is open to discussing the implementation of accommodations, but requires a reason that they are required, disclosing your ADHD could be very beneficial.
Your employer will need to understand ADHD as a medical condition with symptoms that can impact job performance, both positively and negatively. Providing personal examples of how your ADHD impacts you would be beneficial.
An alternative approach to full immediate disclosure could be to initially meet with your supervisor to request certain adjustments in your work environment that you feel will make you more productive. Work your request from an angle of strength, using positive statements like “I work best in an environment with fewer distractions. More frequent check-ins would help me to stay on track and get those large reports to you on time.” Or try, “I am at my peak efficiency in the early morning when the office is quiet. I was wondering if we could schedule my tasks in order to take advantage of my peak productivity.” Don’t call these “accommodations” unless you have decided to formally disclose. Frame these difficulties in terms of solution-oriented goals.
If you do decide to disclose and receive immediate resistance, you may wish to gently point out to your employer that ADHD is considered a disability by Human Rights Commissions. Although at this point of the discussion, things should be kept as amiable as possible.
Q: I need more support at work. How should I request accommodations?
A: Some adults may feel very uncomfortable requesting any type of special consideration. They may feel that they will be viewed as incompetent or making excuses. They may worry that coworkers may resent them for receiving special treatment. But viewing accommodations as a means to your becoming more productive and ultimately a better employee would be a better way for both you and your employer to view these requests. Before requesting accommodations, take some time to think about:
Q: What are some reasonable accommodations I can request at my workplace?
A: Adults with ADHD will differ in the type and quantity of accommodations required. A process of trial and error may be required to discover the best possible options since ADHD symptoms are very individual. It is important to note that in some cases, just a few simple strategies and accommodations may significantly increase both job performance and job satisfaction. A few examples of reasonable workplace accommodations include:
Read more: https://caddac.ca/wp-content/uploads/Workplace-accomodations-Chart-FINAL.pdf
Q: I work from home, how can I stay focused?
A: While working from home, impairments that may have been under control in a structured workplace environment will likely resurface. Inattention, distractibility, hyper focusing and procrastination, difficulty with time-management and organization will probably become more of an issue. Once you understand what could be causing an issue, try putting some of these strategies in place:
Read more: https://caddac.ca/wp-content/uploads/Working-From-Home-with-ADHD-Tips-and-Strategies-2.pdf
If you're interested in working with CADDAC to educate your workplace about ADHD, fill out our presentation request form!
David Martin (he/him) is a risk and cyber leader with a passion for writing about humanity, neurodiversity, and, more recently, generative ai.
David holds a degree in arts from the University of Toronto and is happily married with two children. He enjoys listening to music, playing guitar and piano and sharing insights and experiences through his writing. David also publishes his ai-generated art daily on https://instagram.com/papercutscafe.
At age 53, I received a diagnosis that would change my life: attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). This revelation was surprising and transformative, shedding light on a lifetime of misunderstood experiences and behaviours.
Before my diagnosis, I went through life like a novel with missing pages, attempting to comprehend a story that seemed to leap over vital information to the storyline. I was often lost in my thoughts, and impulsivity was my frequent struggle. There are many stories I can tell that upon reflection were symptoms of my undiagnosed ADHD. I’ll share a few of these in my story below.
As a teenager, I fell behind on a project in Computer Science - writing a short program in BASIC. Instead of owning up my failure to complete the project to the teacher, I copied a friend's floppy disc (it was the 80s). The teacher caught me, and we were both held accountable for my actions.
My actions, often regrettable in hindsight, were even a mystery to me. This impulsivity, coupled with an inability to communicate my feelings effectively, strained my relationships and led to bouts of binge drinking in my youth.
In University, I had a big crush on a friend. When she showed affection for another guy, I ended the friendship altogether. The last time we spoke, she called to ask if I wanted to get together sometime,
I simply said, "No, I'm bored with that." I still don't know how I could have said something so hurtful, yet for years afterward, I thought we had just drifted apart, having forgotten the conversation entirely.
Professionally, my ADHD manifested as missed deadlines and forgotten deliverables. Despite my friendly demeanour and eagerness to please, my performance suffered. I was a serial starter, always excited about new projects but rarely seeing them through to completion. Financially, my impulsivity led to spontaneous purchases and unused memberships, further complicating my life.
For example, I must have signed up for new gym memberships at least 5 times between 30 and 45. In most cases, I signed up and visited the gym once and never returned until cancellation.
At work, I consistently received average to above-average scores on my performance. My ratings were often negatively influenced by the tasks and projects I forgot to complete. And yet, I still found myself promoted occasionally, eventually achieving the level of Director where I work today.
These achievements may have been due to my inherent abilities and willingness to work hard to solve problems. It may also have been my ability to successfully mask many of my symptoms of an ADHD diagnosis of which I had no knowledge.
The turning point came when my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD. She struggled in school, and as early as age 7, she often forgot to record assignments on the blackboard at school. She struggled to succeed in middle and high school and was highly anxious about homework and projects. While she found some relief, like me, through psychotherapy, it was not enough. She researched ADHD symptoms on her own, perhaps inspired by posts on social media about the condition.
Initially skeptical, I began recognizing my symptoms as I delved into my own research about the disorder. Through many books and online tests, this realization led me to seek a professional diagnosis.
To receive the assessment, I needed a referral from my family doctor and an initial investment of $500 of the $2500 fees from the clinic she recommended. I wasn't provided with an initial interview or intake for nearly 3 months and was at risk of losing my place and deposit if I wasn't available for that first interview.
The assessment process took nearly eight months and involved a series of appointments with psychologists, psychometry, and psychiatrists. Except for the initial interview and final diagnosis, each meeting was with someone different at the clinic.
I had to complete offline questionnaires, and my partner was also given questions to answer. The clinic asked for my school records to check for early signs of ADHD, but this paperwork was lost to time (and perhaps to ADHD). All of this work happened at the tail end of the height of the pandemic.
I was already suffering anxiety from the experience of COVID19, let alone the ADHD assessment process. But I made it through the assessment and in the end, was diagnosed with ADHD 'combined type.' I understand this classification has fallen out of favour in some circles, but I suppose it remains somewhat relevant.
My ADHD diagnosis was a relief, but it was also the beginning of a new journey. Treatment options included medication, management techniques, and psychotherapy. Having already explored psychotherapy and various management tools, I opted for medication. I started on a low dose of Vyvanse (Lisdexamfetamine), gradually increasing it until I found the right balance.
The impact of the treatment was profound. The constant 'noise' in my head quieted, and I became more focused and attentive. I had the energy to pursue a healthier lifestyle, resulting in significant weight loss and increased physical fitness.
Creatively, I was able to set and achieve goals, and my career began to flourish as my improved focus and productivity were noticed at work.
Since my diagnosis and treatment, my life has transformed in several significant ways.
My journey to an ADHD diagnosis was a long time coming. I feel like I missed out quite a bit in life. Still, on the other hand, the experiences I had with undiagnosed ADHD were unique and impactful to the direction my life has taken. Ultimately, it has led me to a place of understanding and acceptance. I've learned that it's never too late to seek help and that a diagnosis can be the first step towards a happier, more fulfilling life.
Having been through the assessment and diagnosis process, I encourage others to seek their diagnosis through professional channels. I also advocate at my workplace and personal life for those with this condition and seek new ways to live a happy and successful life with ADHD.
Alison is a mother of an ADHD teenager, a health scientist, and a parent and family neurodiversity coach practicing in Vancouver, B.C.
While ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects a significant number of children and adults, those with the diagnosis are still subject to a high degree of stigma and misunderstanding. This lack of respect for ADHD as a legitimate disability also translates to a lack of proper support and treatment. Myths and misinformation still abound about ADHD even though abundant scientific evidence exists documenting the structural and chemical differences in ADHD brains. The short and long-term negative impacts on ADHD children when they don’t receive appropriate treatment can be significant and life-changing (Di Lorenzo et. al., 2021). Very capable individuals can end up living a lifetime of lost potential.
Misunderstanding of ADHD Children and Adolescents
While inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity are considered the hallmark features of ADHD for diagnosis, seeing these three symptoms as the basis of ADHD is a far too simplified view of this condition. A defining feature also includes weak executive functioning skills which influence the ability to plan and organize, manage time and schedule, regulate emotions, and start and complete tasks. These weaknesses influence not only academic performance but behaviour and social functioning. For example, the majority of ADHD children and adolescents have difficulty regulating emotions which can lead to more explosive emotions and disruptive behaviours. Learning to regulate emotions is a skill that needs to be taught and developed over time. However, a child is often given repeated negative consequences from behaviour stemming from emotional dysregulation which does nothing to help the child build the necessary skills. The understanding that behaviour is not always wilful or within the child’s control is key to better supporting challenging behaviour in ADHD children. Too often I hear about ADHD children being pulled out of classrooms and sent to the principal’s office due to this dysregulation. Unfortunately, this is often the opposite of what these children need to learn to regulate. Instead, they need supportive, regulated adults who can connect with these kids, build safety, and help them to learn regulation skills.
Lack of School Support
Unfortunately, according to CADDAC’s own 2021 Provincial Report Card: ADHD in the School System, there is a pattern of inconsistent and inequitable educational support for students with ADHD when compared to other neurodevelopmental conditions. The provinces of Ontario, British Columbia, and Quebec received a failing grade due to students being withheld special education services unless there is an existing co-morbidity that is eligible (e.g., learning disability, or a mental health or behaviour designation). Unless students with ADHD are recognized as having a disability, they are not automatically eligible for an individualized education plan (IEP) to ensure they get the appropriate classroom accommodations and learning support. This has undoubtedly contributed to many teachers having the perspective of ADHD being a behavioural issue rather than a legitimate neurodevelopmental condition requiring specific learning support. It was notable that across all provinces there was insufficient educator training about ADHD. Sadly, academic underperformance is one of the long-term consequences of ADHD (Arnold et. al., 2020).
The Cost of Misunderstanding
Lack of proper recognition and awareness of the realities of ADHD takes a huge toll on the emotional well-being of ADHD children and adolescents. Anxiety and depression are common co-morbidities in ADHD children and adolescents (Gair et al, 2020; Meinzer, et. al., 2014). ADHD children and adolescents receive a highly disproportionate amount of criticism compared to their non-ADHD peers, and there is some evidence to show they also may be more sensitive to negative consequences (Furukawa et. al, 2017). We also know that shame results from repeated experiences of not meeting expectations and leads to ADHD children and adolescents feeling less than or unworthy compared to their peers. I am deeply saddened when I meet parents and educators who still hold the belief that ADHD children just need to try harder. This leads to these children feeling frustrated, deflated, and hopeless. What they need instead is a new strategy or a different accommodation, and an acknowledgment of how hard they are already trying. In fact, children and adolescents with ADHD are likely already trying harder than many of their neurotypical peers due to the additional mental effort it takes them to accomplish the same tasks.
In addition, and in line with what I see in my practice, research has documented high levels of stress in parents raising ADHD children. Specifically, mothers of ADHD adolescents reported the highest stress, the lowest sense of competency in their parenting skills, and the highest level of household chaos when compared to mothers of autistic adolescents, and mothers of adolescents with both ADHD and autism (Schiltz et. al., 2022). Research has also shown that when parents are able to see their child’s ADHD as a “biological disability” it helps to transform their feelings towards their child and their child’s behaviours, allowing them to have more empathy and compassion (Ringer et. al., 2020). Specifically, rather than seeing the child’s behaviour simply as unwillingness to do what was being asked, they could see that their child was struggling to meet expectations. An important part of the work I do is helping parents understand the full impact of an ADHD diagnosis for their child.
Unfortunately, ADHD continues to be seen as a condition characterized by poorly behaved children rather than a neurodevelopmental condition impacting cognitive functions that influence a large variety of abilities and behaviours. Somehow, we continue to leave too much of the burden on the ADHD child rather than acknowledge the continued misunderstanding of ADHD, the deficiencies in the educational system, and the insufficient resources to support ADHD children and adolescents. I am first to tell my ADHD clients that their ADHD brain wiring can bring them huge strengths – these kids are unique, energetic, creative firecrackers. But too many of these brilliant children and adolescents feel like their ADHD is nothing but a curse because they don’t meet neurotypical standards. I have yet to meet an ADHD child or adolescent who doesn’t want to do well. Our job is to make it possible. And one of the most important steps is not allowing ADHD to continue to be disrespected as the serious neurodevelopmental condition that it is.
References
Arnold, L. E., Hodgkins, P., Kahle, J., Madhoo, M., & Kewley, G. (2020). Long-term outcomes of ADHD: Academic achievement and performance. Journal of Attention Disorders, 24(1), 73–85.
Centre for ADHD Awareness, Canada (CADDAC). (2021). 2021 Provincial Report Card: ADHD in the School System. https://caddac.ca/wp-content/uploads/ADHDReportCardCompleteENGrev2021-final-1.pdf
Di Lorenzo, R., Balducci, J., Poppi, C., Arcolin, E., Cutino, A., Ferri, P., D’Amico, R., & Filippini, T. (2021). Children and adolescents with ADHD followed up to adulthood: A systematic review of long-term outcomes. Acta Neuropsychiatrica, 33(6), 283-298.
Furukawa, E., Alsop, B., Sowerby, P., Jensen, S., & Tripp, G. (2017). Evidence for increased behavioral control by punishment in children with attention‐deficit hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 58(3), 248-257.
Gair, S. L., Brown, H. R., Kang, S., Grabell, A. S., & Harvey, E. A. (2021). Early development of comorbidity between symptoms of ADHD and anxiety. Research on Child and Adolescent Psychopathology, 49(3), 311-323.
Meinzer, M. C., Pettit, J. W., & Viswesvaran, C. (2014). The co-occurrence of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and unipolar depression in children and adolescents: a meta-analytic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 34(8), 595-607.
Ringer, N., Wilder, J., Scheja, M., & Gustavsson, A. (2020). Managing children with challenging behaviours. Parents’ meaning-making processes in relation to their children’s ADHD diagnosis. International Journal of Disability, Development and Education, 67(4), 376-392.
Schiltz, H. K., McVey, A. J., Gonring, K., Haendel, A. D., Murphy, C., Van Hecke, A. V., & Gerdes, A. (2022). Examining differences in parenting stress, parenting efficacy, and household context among mothers of youth with autism and/or ADHD. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 31(3), 774-789.
When it comes to nurturing a productive, motivated and happy workplace, a one-size-fits-all management style isn’t always the best route to take. For those with ADHD, a more thoughtful and customized approach might be required to help them thrive at your company. Here are a few ways you can accommodate your employee with ADHD and set them up for success.
Adjust the workplace environment
For those with ADHD, a suitable working environment can make a huge difference. An open-concept office space might work for a neurotypical employee, but someone with ADHD might require a quiet space with minimal distraction. Allowing the use of headphones, white or brown noise machines or sunglasses would also be helpful ways to help manage distractions. However, it’s important to note that what might help one person with ADHD won’t work for another. Just as each human being is unique, ADHD is unique in both symptoms and severity for each person.
Assign tasks based on their strengths
Acknowledging and supporting an employee with ADHD’s strengths will be very validating for them! Allowing them to focus on tasks that emphasize their strengths or interests will let them know they are considered a valuable contributor to your workplace, and have a positive effect on productivity and morale. Work with their symptoms, rather than against them.
Offer a flexible schedule
Time management and problems with sleep are common struggles for those with ADHD, so following a typical 9 to 5 schedule could be very difficult. Some employees might be more productive starting later in the afternoon and working late, whereas others might require frequent, structured breaks throughout the day. Offering flexible work hours to your employees with ADHD can help to regulate their energy levels, reduce the risk of work-related burnout and encourage productivity.
Put instructions and task details in writing
Those with ADHD struggle with executive dysfunction, meaning they can have a hard time with staying organized, time management, processing information, or remembering details of a project or conversation. Allowing them to take notes in meetings and providing thorough instructions in an email or to-do list will make sure important details won’t slip through the cracks. Be sure to include important due dates, timelines or step-by-step instructions for more laborious tasks.
Ask them directly!
Perhaps it goes without saying, but the best thing you can do is ask your employee with ADHD for their input before you make any changes to your workplace and management style. Spend some time getting to know them and take note of any behaviors or habits they struggle with in the workplace. Try not to minimize or brush off the symptoms the employee tells you – work together to brainstorm any possible solutions. After all, they know themselves better than anyone else and will know what accommodations would be most helpful!
Takeaways
As with all employees, over time you’ll begin to understand how each individual works and slowly identify their unique skills and talents. For an employee with ADHD, a bit more attention may be required to yield drastically better results. Taking the time to collaborate and find strategies that help them navigate any trouble spots they’re having in the workplace will make a lasting impact.
Click here for a list of ADHD Symptoms, Impairments and Accommodations in the Work Environment.
