What is something you wish your extended family understood about having ADHD?

#ADHDSpeaks helps us to elevate the voices and experiences of people from ADHD communities. We asked what you wished your extended family knew about having ADHD and here is what you said.

"I love you. If I said…wait, I am sure I have said something offensive, and for that, I am sorry. It never came out of a place of mean, but a place of the mouth and brain not being on the same page. ❤️
I am sorry I didn't return the call or message, send the thank you note. It probably was written to do on a lost list, or made out in an envelope but never made it to the mailbox.
I appreciate your time, UNDERSTANDING, and love so much."

Tracey

"How real the stress is of raising a child that is neurodivergent! On the outside they seem very normal and people on the outside looking in do not realize how difficult and stressful it can be in our lives."

Erinka

"That being quiet doesn’t mean she’s rude or uninterested. It’s just taking all her energy to just focus and behave. Speaking to you is impossible until all the noise in her head slows down. Give it time... then once she’s ready to move and talk, don’t get mad and tell her to stop. How confusing is that?!?"

Joanne

"When I am made aware of your own feelings of dissatisfaction, disappointment, irritation or other displeasure regarding my daughters behaviour our my own or lack of acting out the expected “appropriate” cues and customs (writing a letter to my grandmother, calling on someone’s birthday or other executive functioning required tasks) then I feel an overwhelming deflation feeling. A mixture of guilt, shame, self-loathing. It goes deep and immobilizes me from trying to be the way you want me to be. In my daughter. It activates her into more hyperactive arousal states. Please just try to be along side us . The judgement hurts so much."

Becky

"It's real, just because you read somewhere that it is over diagnosed doesn't mean I and the children don't have it. I have done my own research and spent countless hours with the pediatrician working on getting the right amount of the right medication and yes, we even talk about diet."

Megan

"That I want you to visit and I want to enjoy your company. But I’m not good at being spontaneous, I get over stimulated quickly and I need to keep clutter to a minimum so I can relax. Poking fun at me makes me feel rejected and hurts much more deeply than its meant."

Jeni

"It’s real yet invisible.✨It’s often accompanied by other mental health diagnoses that add layers to the struggle.✨Everyone experiences ADHD in different ways. ✨Everyone needs different treatment. ✨As someone with ADHD: sometimes my filter doesn’t work, I’m sorry.  ‍♀️As a mom of kids with ADHD: I’m exhausted and need support, not judgment.  ‍♀️"

@kelownamarketing

"The walls of my house have no pictures because when I come home from work I need a calming environment. Please stop sending photos and pictures and asking me why they are not up."

@jkach77

"That when I set boundaries about my time and attention, this is a survival & thriving strategy for me, and not a rejection of you. For example, if I need the morning to finish something, you can let me know something if it comes up, but I am not available for conversation."

@matt.fillmore

"That it’s not always something you can fix by an earlier bedtime, consequences, or enrolling them in “more” to burn out that energy. Every child is unique. This is something I wish everyone in the works knew. My family is pretty amazing. ❤️"

@crislovesmonkeys

Can you relate? Do you have tips of your own? Make a submission at www.adhdspeaks.ca