Too many tabs... by Kimberly

When I was a child, I was often referred to as a daydreamer. I would often zone out or stare off into space. No one was concerned however, because I was always a strong student and did well with minimal effort. As I got older and things required studying, I would find it nearly impossible, I wasn’t able to focus long enough to get through one page, especially if the subject was of little interest to me. I was always an avid reader and could get through books with little issue if they had enough to hold my attention, so no one ever suspected ADHD given I was a very calm person.

Fast forward to my thirties, I was finding it increasingly difficult to focus on certain tasks, I would constantly fidget, forget laundry in the washer, cleaning was an insurmountable mountain that I couldn’t even convince myself to climb.

Being a nurse, I was in a particularly lucky circumstance where I was working with my family physician. She was already treating me for anxiety but had noticed my fidgeting at work. We scheduled an appointment and had a long discussion about my childhood, my daydreaming and focus and she looked and me and said “Kim, you have ADHD.” Whoa, ADHD, thinking back now this made a lot of sense and thinking back, can’t believe we missed it.

With my new diagnosis and a new prescription for Vyvanse I went on my merry way, hopeful that this would help me bring some order back into my everyday existence. That feeling was short lived as we discovered that the Vyvanse, regardless of the treatment I was already on for my anxiety, made it 10 times worse. I was having nightmares and could not sleep. That was the end of that hope. A few weeks after stopping Vyvanse we discovered I was pregnant and to my surprise, as my pregnancy progressed, I started to feel better. Things were a little easier and I was feeling good! This went on until my son was about 6 months old, then it all came flooding back with a vengeance!

Mom brain is REAL but throw ADHD in the mix and, what day is it again? What did I need in here? Where is my phone? Because of that, I made another appointment with my doctor. I never expected ADHD to get harder as I got older, but here I was, starting a new treatment with Intuniv and some tools to help me manage the day-to-day. As moms we tend to always put ourselves last, but I am now learning that I need to put some care into myself if I want to be able to care for my family. I am still working on ways to keep things going and be on top of everything going on, I am not perfect and not everything will work for me, but I am doing my best and that is enough for now.