The ADHD Journey of a Late Diagnosed Millennial by Charlene

Growing up, I never really felt that I was the same as my peers; it wasn’t a bad thing necessarily, but I just couldn’t relate or build the connections most did at the time. I seemed like the average kid to most adults when I was growing up, as I liked video games, books, music, movies and school. If someone looked at my grades, I was a good student, and I enjoyed learning. Nothing back then would have made it obvious to someone that in my 30s, I would be diagnosed with ADHD.

Except there were. There were numerous signs that ADHD would be a struggle for me and that my brain wasn’t quite like the rest in how it processed things and worked both to my benefit and detriment whenever it felt like it. That good student:

1) had the messiest desk of anyone in their grade
2) spoke out often and couldn’t wait to give the answer
3) made careless errors in their work even though they knew the answers,
4) forgot things for class
5) would often not do homework unless it would be checked
6) had difficulty fitting in with peers even when they tried to be like the others
7) overreacted to seemingly small things

Nobody looked beyond the good grades and stereotypes that ADHD was solely a busy child who couldn’t sit still and oftentimes misbehaved because that was what people thought it looked like back then. Add in being a girl in the 90s and I would be missed off that alone.

While I was in the process of getting diagnosed at 30, I wondered numerous times if I was wrong and that there was no way I could have ADHD. I figured if all the people I interacted with couldn’t see it, it must not be there. But then I started watching videos on other people who were getting diagnosed late in life and reading as many articles as I could to understand how ADHD can present so differently in people and saw myself in many of the things I watched and read. I was eventually diagnosed with combination type ADHD and it was freeing to be told that I wasn’t wrong this whole time about feeling different from others and that everything in my head was right. It was empowering but it wasn’t entirely without some sore spots.

Though my diagnosis brought a feeling of relief and comfort, it also brought sadness with it. It was hard to look back at my life through the lens of knowing I had ADHD the whole time. I wondered if I would have been better in school or if I would have made more friends or if my childhood would have been a lot less lonely. As a young adult, I may have been more conscious of my impulsivity and not spent money I shouldn’t have or have been a healthier partner to my boyfriends at the time or recognized that not everything is a personal attack when receiving constructive criticism. While I feel this period of mourning a life that didn’t happen was necessary for growth, there is something to be said about not dwelling on it too long because it interferes with the here and now. Take the time to acknowledge the grief but celebrate being here just the way you are.

I can’t say that the celebration period doesn’t have struggles or challenges because it does. My ADHD manifests itself in so many ways and finding a fit for me between medication, strategies and overall lifestyle has been a bit of a whirlwind. I will say that my life is in a much better place post diagnosis because it’s allowed me to make peace with who I am and develop strategies to enhance my life rather than just survive it. If you cannot get a diagnosis for whatever reason (lack of access or finances), please find resources or join ADHD groups with strategies you can use to support your everyday life. We are all in this together and it’s so much better to thrive than survive.